REVISIONS REQUESTED Thank you for your interest in a Gentle Night. After reading your application, the mod team feels some revisions are needed.
► Overall, Akira’s powers are written from a very in-universe perspective or adhere strictly to video game mechanics. As you’re making the following edits, please consider how these powers manifest and how that might look in a world divorced from game mechanics. For example: SP and HP don’t exist as a concept in A Gentle Night. HP can translate into overall health/wellness, but as there is no way to regain the power expended in a Jewel except for time, abilities restoring SP would not have an effect on the world as it exists in the game. ► Currently, none of your abilities consider how a Green Jewel will augment them. Include such considerations for each power or grouping of similar powers. ► Many of the abilities listed in the powers section deal with stats or game mechanics. Instead of listing out how the intelligence, charm, dex, and similar stats function, consider how these stats actually impact Akira’s personality. Does his INT score actually impact how smart he is in the world in which he exists? Does that inform his character traits? If yes, fold these into the personality section. In the case of a stat-like agility, this only needs to be mention as a power if it exceeds human limitations and then it would be limited/increased by the Jewel as well. For example, Clint Barton is a supremely agile human, but it is no way super humanly augmented vs. Captain America or Spiderman who have augmented agility. ► All abilities and items that function as a game mechanic should be removed unless Akira is explicitly bringing these items. If he is, please include a reasonable count of how many of each he’s bringing and how those items will function in Draega. ► Personas need to be included in the power section of the app, not linked in a separate page. The mod team would like to see a description of how the Persona impacts Akira’s natural abilities (for example, this one Persona makes him stronger or resistant to fire) and how the Green will augment these skills. Special attacks, skills, and abilities for each Persona (such as Angelic Grace) should be described from the perspective that A Gentle Night is not a video game world and thus such concepts as 'doubles/triples/etc evasion' that are stat-driven need to be expressed in a way that is accessible to people who haven't played Persona and don't rely on stat calculations. Even with a more powerful Jewel, the mods ask that one-hit KO skills either be nerfed or draw so much power through the Jewel that it is drained and leaves Akira vulnerable. Large use of power should have a large associated cost.
As a more general note, skills that revive the dead will not work.
We saw your edit but would like to see a comprehensive consideration of the effect of Jewel on Akira's power. If you have any questions, please let us know!
You have three days to complete and submit your revisions by responding to this comment.
REVISIONS
Thank you for your interest in a Gentle Night. After reading your application, the mod team feels some revisions are needed.
► Overall, Akira’s powers are written from a very in-universe perspective or adhere strictly to video game mechanics. As you’re making the following edits, please consider how these powers manifest and how that might look in a world divorced from game mechanics. For example: SP and HP don’t exist as a concept in A Gentle Night. HP can translate into overall health/wellness, but as there is no way to regain the power expended in a Jewel except for time, abilities restoring SP would not have an effect on the world as it exists in the game.
► Currently, none of your abilities consider how a Green Jewel will augment them. Include such considerations for each power or grouping of similar powers.
► Many of the abilities listed in the powers section deal with stats or game mechanics. Instead of listing out how the intelligence, charm, dex, and similar stats function, consider how these stats actually impact Akira’s personality. Does his INT score actually impact how smart he is in the world in which he exists? Does that inform his character traits? If yes, fold these into the personality section. In the case of a stat-like agility, this only needs to be mention as a power if it exceeds human limitations and then it would be limited/increased by the Jewel as well. For example, Clint Barton is a supremely agile human, but it is no way super humanly augmented vs. Captain America or Spiderman who have augmented agility.
► All abilities and items that function as a game mechanic should be removed unless Akira is explicitly bringing these items. If he is, please include a reasonable count of how many of each he’s bringing and how those items will function in Draega.
► Personas need to be included in the power section of the app, not linked in a separate page. The mod team would like to see a description of how the Persona impacts Akira’s natural abilities (for example, this one Persona makes him stronger or resistant to fire) and how the Green will augment these skills. Special attacks, skills, and abilities for each Persona (such as Angelic Grace) should be described from the perspective that A Gentle Night is not a video game world and thus such concepts as 'doubles/triples/etc evasion' that are stat-driven need to be expressed in a way that is accessible to people who haven't played Persona and don't rely on stat calculations. Even with a more powerful Jewel, the mods ask that one-hit KO skills either be nerfed or draw so much power through the Jewel that it is drained and leaves Akira vulnerable. Large use of power should have a large associated cost.
As a more general note, skills that revive the dead will not work.
We saw your edit but would like to see a comprehensive consideration of the effect of Jewel on Akira's power. If you have any questions, please let us know!
You have three days to complete and submit your revisions by responding to this comment.